And CPAC, “the granddaddy of conservative conclaves, a
multi-day, big-budget ideological extravaganza put on by and for the
unabashedly conservative wing of the Republican Party” (The
Daily Beast) draws to a close today.
Speakers have ranged from has-been-but-wanna-be-again
politicians like Sarah Palin to gun toting multimillionaire politicians who
nobody likes like Mitch McConnell – yes, he really did bring a gun to the Conference.
Rumor has it that he brought it because he’d been told there would be a
shooting range at the Conference and he had been practising like crazy, hoping
he could improve his popularity if only he could hit the bulls eye.
As it happens there is a shooting range – courtesy of the
NRA of course - but it’s virtual only. Just kidding about McConnell’s motive
for bringing the gun. He actually bought it for a buddy.
In today’s line-up there are non-politicians like Dr. Ben
Carson, Professor Emeritus, Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, and there have
been lunatics like Donald Trump. Trump, in an interview with The
Washington Times (not to be confused with the Washington Post or the New
York Times whose script it imitates), said when asked if he was a Tea Party
member “I certainly seem to be in a sense. They like me, and I like them. And
we have very much the same principles. When I speak to the Tea Party, they have
the biggest crowd of anybody.” I almost feel sorry for the Tea Party. Their
only celebrity is Donald Trump who gets crazier by the day. He really takes
himself seriously though. I’m not so sure that CPAC did, however. Go to the
page on their website that lists confirmed speakers. Donald is last. In a row
all by himself.
In today’s schedule speakers will make themselves available
to meet and greet. Dr. Carson, who wrote It’s
One Nation: What We Can All Do to Save America’s Future has a Special meet
and greet. There’s one itty bitty little requirement: you have to have ordered
or pre-ordered his book. Hmm. As far as
I can see from the CPAC programme, Dr. Carson is the only one to have a special
meet and greet. And he’s not even a politician.
There are plenty of book signings and people who have written books
meeting and greeting, though. Huh. Not a bad place to market your books. Not
that that’s the purpose of the Conference. I don’t think so, anyway, but you
never know with these Republicans.
Chris Cox, Executive Director of NRA Institute for
Legislative Action, speaks on “More
Guns, Less Crime: How Law Enforcement is Beginning to Embrace a Well-Armed
Civilian Population.” Well, that’s a relief. I'm trying to imagine cops armed to the teeth with assault rifles hugging civilians with pistols in their pockets and taped to their ankles, and one assault rifle in each hand. Oops. Did somebody's gun go off? Sorry my friend, my dear friend. I just shot you in the foot.
Dan Garza,
Executive Director of LIBRE Initiative, has half an hour to elaborate on part 2
of “Healthcare after ObamaCare: A Practical
Guide for Living When No One Has Insurance and America Runs Out of Doctors.” I guess
Garza prepared that talk back in 2010. Obviously hasn’t looked at the statistics
lately. Poor sod doesn’t know that Obamacare popularity and functionality is on
an upwardly mobile trajectory.
For anybody worried
about the environment, Alex Epstein, President & Founder of the Center for
Industrial Policy, will reassure with a talk on his book Fossil Fuels Improve the Planet.
As far as I can see there’s nobody talking about why women
shouldn’t want equal pay, thank God. But the topic “Why Conservatism is Right
for Women: How Conservatives Should Talk About Life, Prosperity & National
Security” will be discussed by four women. That title looks like a bit of non
sequitur to me, but who am I to say. Personally I don’t understand why any
women vote Republican. Some kind of Pavlovian conditioning I guess.
Ralph Hallow, Political Editor of the Washington Times
(again, not to be confused with the Washington Post or the New York Times) will
stimulate the serious politicos with “Clairvoyance and Hard Data: Electoral
Trends for 2014, 2016 … and 2040.” Seriously?
There’s plenty of entertainment, most notable of which will
be a screening of the movie Persecuted.
Interestingly, if you go to CPAC’s website, there’s a rotating list of
sponsors, in various groupings. Get to Associate Sponsors, though, and there’s
only one. Koch Industries. Next to their logo is the logo for Persecuted. Subtle. Sinister. Frigging
scary, actually. Oh, and did you know that Facebook was a sponsor? Yes, it
really is. Along with organizations like the NRA, Koch Industries, and the
series Amazing America with Sarah Palin.
I knew there was a reason why I don’t like Facebook.
The day, and the Conference, ends on a dramatic, politically
earth shattering note with a 20 minute closing speech from The Honorable Sarah
Palin who will be introduced by Chris Cox, who is, remember?, Executive
Director of the National Rifle Association Institute for Legislative Action. You
go, girl.
Well I’m sure it’s been fun. Whatever CPAC achieved, one
thing it did illustrate perfectly. Nobody stood out, nobody shone, nobody said
anything of particular importance. Some people said some pretty ridiculous
things. For example, everything Donald Trump said. See The Daily Beast for some great satire on him. Then there was Paul Ryan who, earlier in the Conference reassured
a crowd of adoring fans that the GOP isn’t falling apart; in fact the very
opposite is true. All this “infighting” is nothing more than grand creativity expressing
itself. Politico
quotes Ryan as saying “What I see is a vibrant debate. We’re figuring out the best
way to apply our principles to the challenges of the day. Sure, we have our
disagreements, and yes, it can get a little passionate. I like to think of it
as creative tension. For the most part, these disagreements have not been over
principles or even policies. They’ve been over tactics. So I think we should
give each other the benefit of the doubt.”
I wonder what the moderate Republicans who want to get
rid of the Tea Party extremists thought about that. And what are we to make of
26 competing candidates? As Dana
Milbank of the Washington Post said in a great article on this topic, “When
you have 26 conservative combatants, you don’t have war; you have mayhem.”
